M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.