Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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