This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.