You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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