we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
