is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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