ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
