All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
