Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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