I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
