using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
