i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
