Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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