think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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