Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
