guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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