It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
