ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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