The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he thought i was a dude.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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