help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
