So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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