Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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