Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?