I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
