i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize
