I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
