So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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