I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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