dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize