he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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