using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I sprained my soul last night
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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