dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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