The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he laminated a picture of his dick.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
