I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
