You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
