Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
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