Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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