Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Come see our sink grown plant.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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