Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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