dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
