Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize