just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
