All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
