Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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