Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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