Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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