yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you will always have a special place in my vag
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I love you. Go after that dick
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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