I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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