People with herpes should wear stickers.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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