Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
