he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
