he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
