what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
