I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
