We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
