"it" just moved
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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