I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
