His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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