Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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