Grow some girl-balls and come out already
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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