just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
