Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
