are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
