im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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