I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
