TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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